random updates #270207

in case it has been a while, thought it'll be good to remind myself of some things happened in the past weeks.

• finally the workload is clear last week. thank God for His providence.
• i had lunch with a work-mate, who happened to ask re my weekend's activities. having found out that i'm a cn, he quickly made a comment, "are you trying to convert me?" to which i replied "no" (calmly and having no idea what to say but still praying for opportunities!). one thing i learn recently is that i suppose it's equally un-cn when all we care about is 'pushing our agenda' everytime we open our life to others (although i still think that i should make it my aim to witness Him in any way possible), as compared to genuinely being loving and interested in getting to know people at the first place. i thought there's a thin line *.
• a collegue was offering to give me some lessons on driving a car. yay! as we went for the first drive, she was really clear with her instructions.
• as i observed, i'm encouraged by the examples set by the girls in our bible study. thank God that they are consistently keen on meeting together to study the Bible despite their business with other church activities. thank God for the wisdom He grants us all to prioritise.
• a stranger lady that i commute occasionally with by bus has been acting a little.. strange (?). her action really does provoke me! as i noticed twice, i happened to choose a seat a row behind her, and as soon as i sat down, she moved a couple rows to the front. how rude is that? i'm not sure what's in her mind, but i suppose if she thinks that she's too irresistible to resist, she is way too off! i told you, it provokes me to think the she is less important a person, rather than learning to surrender everything to God who is just (if i sound like exagerrating, i have in mind those who suffer injustice at the hands of the irresponsible).

* perhaps this book by John Dickson (Promoting the Gospel - your whole life for the cause of Christ) is helpful to you as well. it's an easy read, a great companion while i was back in indo a couple months ago.

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feeling tender in my stomach

i've had a couple of tough ones at work after my leave. and to be honest, my spirit is a bit broken. interestingly, i am sustained by prayers throughout. i suppose this is life, there will be both good and not so good ones going on. yet despite which situation i'm in, i'm certain that God doesn't leave me. so, i hang on. and thank God for sustaining me. 3 down, and another one is on its way! (as if a pregnant woman, silly as it sounds).

on another note, i treat it as a 2nd installment on issue of persevering as a cn from om joni's talk last sunday. i am encouraged. perhaps i can tell you this, it's not always easy to be a cn, but surely there's joy and meaning of life in God. troubles shape, or would i rather be shipped out?

so that i wouldn't be without reasons, i think being busy with life is unavoidable, family, work, church activities, looking after yourself (and others where possible), nevertheless, God is much bigger than all of us. things can crammed us down, forgetting who should be the centre of our life. but when we don't have God, life is bleak, and troubles are there still.

my prayer is that i'm dependant on God, and therefore, He should help me to put life on perspective, not only looking in, but looking out to Him (and others). thing like these don't come to me naturally, i doubt myself. it's horrible what's inside my heart (where sins are harboured), but grace is amazing (forgiveness from God).

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60 Earth Hour

c'moen you..

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must blog

i haven't been feeling well since getting back. it's the fifth day in a row. it was getting better for a day on oscar & muri's wedding, and thought that i'll be fine then on.it turns out that the sickness relapses as soon as i got back home from the reception. very late last night, i remembered well the 'fly' effect of the cold tablets that i yet decided to take on for the final time (i've got to see a doctor tomorrow). i knew how restless i was physically, the tablets just helped to put me into sleep (forced gracefully if there are such words!). i'm having this really bad sore throat that send my voices into half-missing plus feeling feverish. it started out a day before my flight back to sydney from indo on monday. sis was having her cold a few days back. i was having too much in indo, activity-wise, and started falling sick. human being is limited (or rather i am).

i'm also feeling rather 'crap' spiritually. it has been kinda expected before i got back. my quiet times went limbo near the end, exposure to the surrounding environment made it worse, where people just don't worship God. their lifestyles could well restrict the amount of air you breathes in as a cn. learning to be godly is a life-long journey, somehow you suffocate a few times despite thinking that being one could have almost felt as natural as breathing in the same air while you're among the other believers. and so, here goes my extra baggage for the long-run, being a cn among the un-believers (and even among believers).

the first time i heard the one-liner "just be a cn!", i've always loved the sound of it, simple yet weighty, and having a capacity to spur. and off-course, if you are a cn yourself,you know it well and you live it out - the tensions of being one, in the world but not of the world. and yet, God's word called us to finish the race by persevering. Oh btw, in the event of my physical weakness (so i wouldn't spend half a day travelling back-forth had i attended the kingsford's service, than resting), i decided to attend the local macquarie chapel (presbyterian church) this morning, joining their family-friendly service. the talk was taken from 2 Tim. 4, having the topic of 'Finishing the Race'. before the talk, there were short interviews of a couple of peeps who were just back from a short-term mission to burma, followed by the video presentation of the team's activities, followed by prayers for little ones starting kindy or school, as well as one female going to bible college. it was encouraging (for being incognito as well, where you can just follow the service quietly :).

here goes my reflection for the past year! (i know, i'm cheating, and it's way too short and late).

PS. and here's goes my scary list for the weeks ahead: lots to do!

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