feeling tender in my stomach

i've had a couple of tough ones at work after my leave. and to be honest, my spirit is a bit broken. interestingly, i am sustained by prayers throughout. i suppose this is life, there will be both good and not so good ones going on. yet despite which situation i'm in, i'm certain that God doesn't leave me. so, i hang on. and thank God for sustaining me. 3 down, and another one is on its way! (as if a pregnant woman, silly as it sounds).

on another note, i treat it as a 2nd installment on issue of persevering as a cn from om joni's talk last sunday. i am encouraged. perhaps i can tell you this, it's not always easy to be a cn, but surely there's joy and meaning of life in God. troubles shape, or would i rather be shipped out?

so that i wouldn't be without reasons, i think being busy with life is unavoidable, family, work, church activities, looking after yourself (and others where possible), nevertheless, God is much bigger than all of us. things can crammed us down, forgetting who should be the centre of our life. but when we don't have God, life is bleak, and troubles are there still.

my prayer is that i'm dependant on God, and therefore, He should help me to put life on perspective, not only looking in, but looking out to Him (and others). thing like these don't come to me naturally, i doubt myself. it's horrible what's inside my heart (where sins are harboured), but grace is amazing (forgiveness from God).