last random musing of the year
a colleague invited some of us to her place to have a potluck lunch yesterday. it was a simple gathering, but at the same time an opportunity to get to know them other than at the workplace setting. they are early to mid-thirties asian immigrants (from hongkong, malaysia, and vietnam) with two small kids for each couple. two couples had some exposure to cn-ity, but it wasn't personal for them. so, i was rather curious how the convos might turn the fact that they are at a different age group and stage of life than mine, plus being non-indo and non-cn. an interesting mix.
by the end of the gathering (btw, this is not meant to be rocket-science, you are probably aware of it to an extend), i found that people are interested in talking about the challenges brought by a particular stage of life people are at. so, it's only sensible that they touched base on issues like properties, kids' schooling, the working regime which could all be summed up under the umbrella of 'raising your family'. it wasn't as if the weight of the convos was pulled down heavily in this direction, but there was at least a hint of 'keeping up with the joneses' flavour being implicated throughout (it's hard not to, this is a very much human tendency). i had off course been a couple of times involved in group convos (though more so listening than talking) where people treated these subject matters as if these are all that matter (cns are no exception!).
remarkably, i found them to be quite accommodating, somehow more than the typical indo gatherings i had been. the rest of them speak cantonese, not so me (not even a hint!), but i wasn't too left out in the convos. Some of them made more sense through the way they talk.
i guess my point is not to compare between us and them, or that making a generalisation that they are somehow a nicer group to be in. one gathering shouldn't justify.
it will be however appealing that cn groups live out what mark us as cn, being salt and gracious as we relate to others in cn or non-cn settings. we can talk about the things of this world (after all, it's still our present reality and in fact, these things are points of contact toward non-cns) but they are not the centre of our life. we can make more sense because we have the truth, so to speak (forgive the sounding of rightful exclusivity, but cns don't make this claim, it's from the Bible). we can be enjoyable people to hang out with but fun is not the essence of things (in fact, we stick when one suffers).
i guess being an introvert, it's out of my league to be an initiator or the dominant voice in a convo. if you're such person, take the chance, just be a cn in your convos! (and you have my backing, for sure, just don't sound like a scratched cd, mind you).
