must blog

i haven't been feeling well since getting back. it's the fifth day in a row. it was getting better for a day on oscar & muri's wedding, and thought that i'll be fine then on.it turns out that the sickness relapses as soon as i got back home from the reception. very late last night, i remembered well the 'fly' effect of the cold tablets that i yet decided to take on for the final time (i've got to see a doctor tomorrow). i knew how restless i was physically, the tablets just helped to put me into sleep (forced gracefully if there are such words!). i'm having this really bad sore throat that send my voices into half-missing plus feeling feverish. it started out a day before my flight back to sydney from indo on monday. sis was having her cold a few days back. i was having too much in indo, activity-wise, and started falling sick. human being is limited (or rather i am).

i'm also feeling rather 'crap' spiritually. it has been kinda expected before i got back. my quiet times went limbo near the end, exposure to the surrounding environment made it worse, where people just don't worship God. their lifestyles could well restrict the amount of air you breathes in as a cn. learning to be godly is a life-long journey, somehow you suffocate a few times despite thinking that being one could have almost felt as natural as breathing in the same air while you're among the other believers. and so, here goes my extra baggage for the long-run, being a cn among the un-believers (and even among believers).

the first time i heard the one-liner "just be a cn!", i've always loved the sound of it, simple yet weighty, and having a capacity to spur. and off-course, if you are a cn yourself,you know it well and you live it out - the tensions of being one, in the world but not of the world. and yet, God's word called us to finish the race by persevering. Oh btw, in the event of my physical weakness (so i wouldn't spend half a day travelling back-forth had i attended the kingsford's service, than resting), i decided to attend the local macquarie chapel (presbyterian church) this morning, joining their family-friendly service. the talk was taken from 2 Tim. 4, having the topic of 'Finishing the Race'. before the talk, there were short interviews of a couple of peeps who were just back from a short-term mission to burma, followed by the video presentation of the team's activities, followed by prayers for little ones starting kindy or school, as well as one female going to bible college. it was encouraging (for being incognito as well, where you can just follow the service quietly :).

here goes my reflection for the past year! (i know, i'm cheating, and it's way too short and late).

PS. and here's goes my scary list for the weeks ahead: lots to do!